джинсы размер 22

Surprisingly, the way I’ve felt emotionally since surgery has been much better than I expected. I haven’t really had the down days like I normally have. Today was tough, but it was more of a situational sadness. I’m not going to go into what happened today, but it was definitely the hardest emotional day since surgery. My friend wrote a post today to help with my bad day. Thanks, June!

One thing that I haven’t talked about much on this blog is my long-time struggle with clinical depression. I started on my first anti-depressant at 15, have been in and out of therapists offices to deal with traumatic life events, and have even struggled with thoughts of suicide. It was very out of character for me, but I stopped taking my anti-depressants, cold turkey, after surgery. My main reason for stopping was that I was too lazy to make a doctors appointment to get a prescription for pills in a tablet form. I can’t take capsules right now because my pouch won’t tolerate them.

I had some rough things happen at work, got very agitated emotionally. As a result, it affected me physically. I have a headache from crying. My body aches like I had a big workout at the gym. I was feeling fine, then suddenly I couldn’t make it at work anymore. I came home and took a long nap. Naps aren’t out of the ordinary since surgery, but I woke up feeling EXHAUSTED.

In the last 7 weeks since surgery, I’ve had lots of ups and downs, good days and bad days. My bad days are usually from physical symptoms, but today was a BAD emotional day.

A few people have asked why I haven’t been putting my food diaries lately. My main reason is that I’m not blogging every day, and it gets a little tedious to remember back more than a day. But for those who love my food diaries, here’s what I ate today:

I had a hard time deciding what to name this blog post. In Weight Watchers, which I was enrolled in 8 times, we talked a lot about “Non-scale victories” (NSV). Sometimes in the weight loss process, you know you’re doing everything you need to, but the scale isn’t showing the progress. Non-scale victories can be inches lost, addictions overcome, or anything else that is promoting your journey to better health. In my case, I really DID have a scale victory…I had a great loss AND I can use my bathroom scale. I don’t have to weigh in at the doctor to know where my progress is at.

For the last two weeks, I’ve stood on the sale almost every day, just hoping I might actually get a weight reading other than “ERROR.” Yesterday morning I weighed myself before my shower, and IT SHOWED NUMBERS! I weighed in at 327.5, which is a total loss of 45.8 pounds since I started my pre-op diet on January 30th. 45 pounds in 8 weeks is pretty dang awesome!

I’ve had a bathroom scale for a few years that has a capacity of 328 pounds. When I purchased it in 2008, I was right around the 300 pound mark. The scale has been just on the edge of it’s capacity several times, as my weight has fluctuated between 350 and 325 for the last three years. It hasn’t worked for me in 18 months, and it’s been a mini-goal of mine to be able to weigh on that scale.